🧡 Made for Monday - The Good Kind of No

🧡 Made for Monday

The Good Kind of No

I have a question.

Who decided that being a good person meant saying yes to absolutely everything?

Because I’d like to have a little conversation with them.

Preferably over coffee.

And preferably not during one of the seventeen things I’ve already agreed to do. 😂

Here’s the thing about saying yes.

Most of the things we’re asked to do are good things.

Help with this.

Come to that.

Make something for somebody.

Volunteer.

Take on another responsibility.

Attend another event.

Join another committee.

Bring a dish.

And listen, you know I’m going to bring a dish.

Probably two.

Let’s not pretend otherwise. 😂

But I’ve been thinking about something.

Just because something is good doesn’t mean it’s ours to do. 😲

Whew.

That’s a little harder to swallow than it sounds.

Especially when we love people.

When we enjoy being involved.

When we have ideas and energy and a genuine desire to make things better.

It’s easy to believe that if we can do something, we probably should.

And before long, our calendars are full of wonderful things.

So full, in fact, that there’s very little room left for the people and responsibilities we already have.

Or for something unexpected.

Or for a spontaneous afternoon.

Or simply to sit down and enjoy the tar out of the life we’ve been given.

Now, I’m not advocating that we all become professional excuse-makers.

There is work to be done.

People need helping.

Communities need volunteers.

Families need us.

And sometimes love absolutely looks like showing up when it would be easier to stay home.

But sometimes love also looks like recognizing our limits. I call it my capacity.

I think wisdom lives somewhere between saying yes to everything and saying no to anything that inconveniences us.

And finding that middle ground requires a little honesty.

Why am I saying yes?

Because I genuinely want to help?

Because it’s something I’m called or equipped to do?

Or because I don’t want somebody to be disappointed?

Those are very different reasons.

And here’s another thing I’ve noticed.

Every yes comes with a little invisible price tag.

Time.

Attention.

Energy.

Something else that won’t get done.

Sometimes that price is absolutely worth paying.

Sometimes it isn’t.

Because sometimes it’s our health that pays the price.

And sometimes the best thing we can do is leave the opportunity for somebody else. (Yes - and this is a great thing…giving someone else the opportunity to participate)!

Imagine that.

Another perfectly capable human being might actually do the thing.

😂

Maybe even better than we would.

There is a humbling little thought for a Monday morning.

So this week, I’m challenging myself to be more thoughtful about what earns a yes.

Not less generous.

Not less willing.

Just more intentional. Such a great stance…being intentional.

Because I don’t want to be so busy doing good things that I lose sight of the things I’m actually supposed to be tending.

And I certainly don’t want the people I love most to receive whatever scraps of me are left after everybody else has had a turn.

Some things deserve an enthusiastic yes.

Some deserve a gracious no.

And some deserve a good night’s sleep before answering.

That last one might save us all a considerable amount of trouble.

😂

🧭 Compass Note

A good opportunity isn’t automatically your responsibility.

Say yes with intention.

Say no with kindness.

And remember that leaving room in your life isn’t selfish when that room allows you to love, serve, and care for what matters most.

You don’t have to do everything to do something meaningful.

Sometimes a thoughtful no protects your very best yes.

📖 Compass Verse

“But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no…”

— Matthew 5:37 NASB

🙏 Compass Prayer

Lord,

Thank You for the opportunities You’ve placed before me and the people You’ve given me to love.

Help me recognize the difference between being willing and being overcommitted.

Give me a generous heart, but also the wisdom to know where my time and attention belong.

Teach me to say yes without resentment and no without guilt.

Keep me from confusing being needed with being called.

And help me leave enough room in my days to recognize the unexpected moments You place along the way.

Amen. 🧡

Find Your Way Home.
~Karen
The Twisted Compass
Notice More. Love Well. Gather Often.